We, the State of Israel, have just dropped warning messages on Gaza:
Don’t march tomorrow!
People of Gaza,
You must understand:
You are untermenschen!
You are destined either to be our slaves or to be extinguished.
That is why we caged you in an unlivable space, in which you are slowly being poisoned.
Do not dare compare us to Nazis!
We warned you not to try to escape your fate.
Did the Nazis warn Jews as they entered gas chambers not to breathe?
Do not fool yourself into believing anyone cares.
For six weeks, you have told the world that on May 15 you would try to break free of our concentration camp.
For six weeks, the world was privy that when the fateful day was upon you, we would “mow the grass” in Gaza.
What did the world do?
Didn’t it send us its heartfelt blessings via Eurovision?
Go, then, to your Death!
Loudly, if you must.
Quietly, if you grasp that we harbor no malice.
Indeed, it is we who deserve sympathy.
This morning I told our heroic troops poised along the concentration camp perimeter: